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Catie Caitlin

Golden Retriever and cancer

Catie Caitlin

Some Summer Nonsense – the Riley Files

August 17th, 2010 · 8 Comments · Uncategorized

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I’m an ordinary dude. Patient and goodnatured, gentle and generous to a fault (excepting my ball), humble and accepting, from my muzzle to my paws. There are no sour grapes involved here (grapes aren’t good for dogs) but things have changed a little bit since Catie became a movie star.

She used to play some of the music I like. Now she’s obsessed with Ethel Merman, and George Gershwein and Rodgers and Hammerstein, Cole Porter and Andrew Lloyd Webber. It’s all about overtures and sweeping finales and songs about enchanted evenings and favourite things and spoonfuls of sugar. Don’t get me wrong. I love musicals as much as the next guy, but sometimes I like to switch it up to solid dude tunes too; like, when Mom’s not home and Dad puts on hardcore rock or plays some earsplitting guitar chords with the amplifiers on full blast.

But enough of that. It’s hard to believe it is already mid August. It’s been a busy summer. A wedding (which Catie and I didn’t get to attend). Lots of rain. Almost nightly thunderstorms. Endless reruns on television. Mosquitoes the size of my nose. An alarming yet mysterious bout of summertime diarrhea that had both Catie and me running to the door. A lot. And we didn’t always make it. A brief stay at a boarding hotel with a redbone coonhound who went into heat Catie and I were there and simply wouldn’t take no for an answer. I finally had to tell her about the surgery-that-cannot-be-named and that she was looking for love in all the wrong places.

Besides, my heart belongs elsewhere.

I know what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but a word to Comet: I’m working on getting a lawyer for the annulment as quickly as I can. It’s been a little tight around here since Mom took back her credit card and it’s turned out more difficult to get into the pawn shops with only one Jimmy Choo shoe than getting through customs – of course, wearing a “working dog harness” at the airport and pushing Catie through security in a wheelchair helped a lot.

And just so everyone knows, Catie might be a film goddess but Mom’s busy working on the next New York Times bestseller about ME and she’s calling it “S*it my dog says.”

Bwahahahaha!


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8 Comments so far ↓

  • cometdog

    My Dearest Riley,
    I realize the annulment has to be done. That whole, “let’s make you an American citizen” sounded like a good idea after a couple of shots of tequila! Not so much now.

    But I still need to get your name in lights! Picture this…the curtain raises – the stage is dark and then one spotlight comes on and there’s YOU! Ta-da! “A Star is Born”!

    I’ll be waiting for your glamour shots! Your mom needs the big production orchestra music to get in the mood as the cinematographer!

    Until then….just remember we’ll always have Vegas.

    The memory of you pushing Catie in a wheelchair in the airport as you looked backed and gave me a grin and a wave will always be a vivid picture in my memory.

    Comet -cool, you bet!

  • etgayle

    riley, you are the coolest dude possible!! since it sounds like the ‘vegas fling’ may be history…don’t forget there are two gals down here in the hills if east tennessee – we aren’t spring chickens, but we’re not ready for the pot yet either… just sayin’…

    gayle

  • maggie

    Riley, You crack me up!!! What a hoot! 🙂
    Maggie likes Goldens…especially the ‘boys’…some come on over to Maine sometime! LOL..

    Tracy, Maggie’s Mom

  • Fortis'dad

    The “Riley Files”! I love it. I want more…..
    I’m with you Riley, nothing like some ear splitting guitar chords with the amps cranked to the max to get the heart pumping!

    Fortis

  • jerry

    Come say with us when you ditch the Great White North, Riley. We’ll shelter you before you get to Vegas, as long as we don’t get thrown into jail for housing an illegal alien. Oh wait, that’s only in Arizona. Whew!

    Oh yeah, showtunes are banned in our house. Wyatt Ray won’t listen to anything but Motorhead.

  • Ginger

    Well, Catie may be a movie star, but you, my darling Riley have clearly made it as a print model! I saw you on a bottle of my Daddy’s Hop Hound Ale. I’m not sure if I can compete with all those other cute girls vying for your attention, but I’ll try.

    XOXO,
    Ginger

  • Mackenzie's Mom

    Riley – it does sound like you’ve had a lot of summer nonense. What’s this about a Vegas wedding in this heat?? And then an annulment, not to mention pawn shop, solo Jimmy Choo shoe, wheel chairs and show tunes that you’re forced to listen to? What kind of Riley files are these? With all that you’ve been through this summer I’d classify these files as “Summer of Insanity – No S*it!”

  • Peyton's Path

    Just caught up on your posts and we are very happy to hear every one is doing well except that nasty week of the squirts! We have been very bad about keeping up on the blogs and mom finally let me on the computer. She is feeling a little tripawd withdrawl since yesterday would have been Peyton’s one year ampuversary if he were still here 🙁 ! So thanks for making all of us smile and laugh with your fun posts Catie and Riley! Can I have your pawtograph Catie? Sorry Riley we still think you are a cool dude! Maybe you should go ask for some treats- I think I will too! Great video by Comet!!

    XOXO
    Dillon and Rhys

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