As Catie lies at my feet, I’m reminded that dogs are immune to the human time-wasting, energy-sapping, emotionally-depleting foible of worry. And guilt. And shame.
You see, I haven’t always felt this way about family pets. While not exactly Grinch-like, with a heart many times too small, I was, at one time, indifferent and bemused by the deep, abiding dedication of other pet-owners and the lengths they went to provide their furry family members with comforts and extraordinarily expensive medical care.
In my sad and smug ignorance, I simply didn’t get it.
Little baby steps of transformation started with the death of my mother in 2001. Carried on with the growing up of our three children, leaving home, making lives of their own.
And completed on Christmas Eve, like Ebenezer Scrooge’s own metamorphosis, when I saw Catie sitting on the mat by the front door.
And brimmed over one year later when I chose little Riley from his eight other litter mates as he snuffled and scrambled for attention.
I finally, unequivocally, got it.
“I never thought I’d see the day you would let a dog sleep in the bed,” my husband once said.
Neither did I.
These two family members have taught me much about myself and about love. No other being has ever been so thrilled to have me come home; they don’t care if the walls need a fresh coat of paint or the curtains need to be laundered or the windows need to be cleaned. They’re indifferent to whether I’m wearing fashionable jeans or grungy sweatpants, whether I’m having a bad hair day or have morning breath or have a pimple on the end of my nose; such absolute acceptance of all my flaws. Each meal is devoured with the same uninhibited relish as the last one; every day they explore the backyard with earnest curiosity as if they’ve never explored it before.
Even if I forget sometimes, Catie and Riley have taught me that each day, each moment is a gift; that we humans would be wise to treat all our loved ones with the same delight and tail-wagging enthusiasm whenever we see one another; that money is just money and what’s the point of having any if we can’t spend it on those we cherish; and that life is oh-so-precious and so worth living and fighting for.
We will love Catie with three legs just as much as we love her with four. She has loved us without prejudice or censure. A strong and often willful girl, I am confident she will do well tomorrow. And she will be free from pain and soon be her old self again. This is a good thing.
To those of you who have sent their well wishes, thank you, thank you. Your stories of devotion to and the courage and resilience of your beloved pets have inspired me and give me great hope for the days and months ahead. Catie sends hugs and wet kisses to all.
The kindness of strangers does sometimes take my breath away.
I don’t think the Grinch’s dog gets enough credit for the change in the size of his master’s heart : )
And I can believe in miracles since my mother let my brother’s dog sleep in her bed while she was dog-sitting. She did it partly for Gerry and partly for Gracie herself (my brother’s dog). I was worried Gracie might wander that night and lick Gerry’s incision site (because she was interested) while we were staying over. So my mom let Gracie stay in the bedroom with her (though no dog in the bedroom was the cardinal rule for us all growing up) and, most shocking of all, she didn’t kick Gracie out of the bed. (Of course, with Gracie, it would have been futile – she would have kept Mom up all night with hopping back up). I think my mom is nearly as reformed as you : D
It was a beautifully written post. Thanks for sharing.
And good luck, Catie and family!
We’ll be thinking of you tomorrow, Catie! And your mom is right – you dogs have a way of showing us the important stuff in life. Best of luck tomorrow and in the next few days – we’re sure you’ll do great!
Holly and Holly’s mom
Sorry I haven’t responded sooner, I just read all three of your posts today. We went through the same thing starting in July 2009. We went in for a couple different x-rays and a biopsy which lead us down the path to bone cancer and amputation. We were just like you, very surprised that our carefully bred, well fed, healthy young golden could have cancer. What an eye opener. After learning Peyton had bone cancer, we amputated his right front leg in early September. We were scared to death, but Peyton quickly showed us he didn’t need four legs and he could act like any other dog with four legs. He adapted very quickly and we didn’t have to help him very much. The first two weeks were the hardest. Just make Catie as comfortable as possible and make sure she doesn’t lick the incision. You will probably get lots of pain medication and don’t be alarmed if that makes her sleepy and not herself. She will quickly bounce back when she feels better. You might need to make some changes around the house like runner rugs on hardwood or tile, we baby gated the stairs off so Peyton wouldn’t try to go down stairs. Avoid any hazards where she might get hurt.
When you go to pick her up brace your self because it will catch you off guard that your beloved dog is missing a leg. Don’t let her know you are nervous! Goldens pick up on our emotions, they know when we are bothered! Be strong for Catie!!! Remember love her every minute, spoil her and her brother rotten and don’t take your time with her for granted! We were lucky to get to spend a wonderful 16 weeks with Peyton after his amputation and each and every day was worth it! Peyton had some additional complications and he went to Rainbow Bridge on December 27. If you ask us today if we would do it again, we wouldn’t have to think twice. We would do it again and again if it meant we had additional quality time with our loved one! When you have time please visit Peyton’s Path and read the post called No Regrets. It explains Peyton’s story and it may give you some ease with your desicion.
Good luck on Wednesday! We will be thinking about you! Dillon (Peyton’s brother) sends lots of golden licks your way! Please keep us posted!
Cami, Kris and Dillon
Yes, thank you for sharing these personal thoughts! Best wishes for all to go well tomorrow.
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Oh my. What beautiful dogs. What a beautiful blog. What beautiful parents you were to Peyton and are to Dillon. I can’t imagine how difficult it was to lose Peyton and I am so sorry for your loss. I am also happy you had that lovely extra time. Thank you, thank you for sharing. And thank you for the well wishes. I’m filling up my reservoir of strength with all my might and over the next while will recite your words, “Be strong for Catie.” I intend to do a lot of spoiling.
Carmen
Catie, your Mom writes sooooo beautifully. Is she a professional writer?
All dogs come into their human’s lives for a reason. You have taught your Mom and Dad so much, the best is yet to come I’m sure.
Good luck tomorrow. We will be thinking of you and sending lots of love and healing thoughts your way.
Good luck with your surgery today Catie!! Be prepared to be super spoiled by your pawrents when you get home!!! Keep us posted!!!
Angel Jake’s Mom
I will say like Jerry say…you write so beautifully! I hope everything is going well today….thinking of Catie and of you all…
Tracy, Maggie’s Mom
Hello, as you may already found I am fresh here.
Hope to receive some assistance from you if I will have any quesitons.
Thanks and good luck everyone! 😉